Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen! I am truly honored to be here at this wedding. I am, however, a bit confused as to why I am Raphael's best man. I mean, what have I accomplished? Despite demonstrating my worst behavior and bad habits to him over the past 15 years, Raphael remains as innocent and clean cut as he was the day I met him. For example, Raphael considers having unkempt hair a venial sin and smiling during Frisbee practice a mortal sin. Don't worry, Raphael; you'll learn all the Catholic terminology on your road to salvation through conversion; Liz has it all planned out. This, and much more.

I tried, I tried...I couldn't break Raf.

"Another - oops - a first beer, Raf?"
"Nope; I'm going to bed."

"Look Raf: the Ms. Universe Contest!"
"Sorry, Pabs; have to plow through the Hawkins book."

"Gun it, Raf!"
"The light turned yellow!"
"So?"
"That means stop, Pablo. And buckle up, little man!"

Lie, cheat or steal?  Never!  Raf probably didn't even know that they were options.  Of course, there is that one time when Raphael was curled up on the curb, drunk, after a Frisbee game...you'll have to ask Kristi, Steve or me to fill you in on the details...but those are rare exceptions, I swear!  Consider that he had 2 bachelor parties and he:

-Remained clothed the entire night
-Saw no naked women
-Had no hangovers the day after.

Raphael and I don't look too much alike - we're sort of like Mutt and Jeff - but over the years fellow Frisbee players have invariably called me Raf or called Raf Pablo - and this still happens! When this happens I always feel complimented and am amazed at how well Raf handles it. Raphael has been there many times when I needed him, be it answering one of my many computer questions, cooking me a meal, or catching one of my crappy throws during a Frisbee game. He is an honorable gentleman and a true friend. I remember a while back asking Raphael how he and I were different. "Well, the 'fun' thing" <gesture with hands> - meaning that he takes things a bit seriously at times. Hey hey; no worries; let me just say that it has been truly wonderful watching Raf and Liz together, and it is easy to see that they are surely are having fun together and are so made for each other.

As some of you may know, Raphael and Liz met at a wine tasting party he hosted. One of Raf's friends, Melissa, brought along Liz; Raf was instantly attracted and pointed her out to me. Furthermore, he did the unthinkable (for Raphael, anyway): he got her phone number! He must have known that Liz and he had that special spark. Previously, his dating consisted of an extended courting ritual: weeks of hand holding before the first kiss; months of chivalrous phone calls, walks, and conversations; then, inevitably, the sad conclusion that "Well, she is just not the one" <shake head with mouth tightly clenched>. But with Liz, though, there was never a doubt <pound fist into other palm> - not with them, and not with their friends who saw how fond and loving they were together.

I also cannot say enough about Liz. She is truly a wonderful soul; I have been fortunate enough to play on several Frisbee teams with her over the past several years. She is a good athlete; she moves fast and efficiently - well, clearly <looking over at the bride and groom>; she is supportive as a teammate and she is spunky. I know that she often looks stern, but I speak for the whole team in saying that she is a fun person to play with and hang out with. Most of her family is still speaking to her as well. (As she might say, "Nice.")

Finally on behalf of the bride and groom, I’d like to thank everyone here for sharing their day, particularly those who have travelled long distances. I invite you all to stand and raise your glasses in a toast for Raphael and Liz, aka "Mr and Mrs Savir." We wish them well for the future and hope they enjoy a long, happy and fruitful marriage.